Feeling pretty good, all things considered...

I'm six days in to being off of any thyroid medication, and actually feeling better than I thought I would. I seem to have short bursts of energy, followed by the need for a nice, long nap. Luckily my mother in law is here to help out with taking care of the kids, so even that is not really a problem. I have a sense that when this is all over I will feel better and stronger than I have in a long time. The cancer was really sucking energy away from me, and now that the tumor is gone, I have a bit more of it - if thrown off by my current hypo state. I feel really cold at times and really hot at times (thyroid regulates body temp). I feel quite anxious a lot of the time and it's easy to get worked up into a froth over things that don't matter and to obsess about them. I know that this is also physiological too. I could swear I was having a heart attack two days ago when my heart started to beat fast, I couldn't catch my breath, I got chest pains and my left arm started to tingle. I thought, what a coincidence, first the thyroid cancer, now a heart attack! It was anxiety though, brought on by stress.

The very hardest part, and the thing I would never have guessed in a million years, is that a couple of friends I really thought I could count on, have taken this badly. I guess that sometimes when a person hears that "C" word, they freak out in their own unique and crazy way. I don't think I have ever had such mean things said and done to me - and I survived Jr High school too! I am trying not to let this get me down, and trying not to talk about it non-stop to Bruce. He has been so understanding and supportive, as have all of you. This experience has taught me how much my children mean to me, how much I want to be around to see them grow, and to focus on what's really important; not a few crazy-makers. It really hurts, sometimes but I suppose sometimes it hurts to grow.

One funny thing is that some scattered, forgetful person seems to keep putting my things where they don't belong. She leaves things half done and often messed-up. Occasionally I'll say something to Bruce that he tells me I said only a moment ago. I guess memory is affected by this too ;) Tonight though, Rowan told me that I am the best mom in the whole world, and I will remember that always. (and remind him of it when he's a teenager) I guess memory is affected by this too. Oh yeah, and memory.

Love to you all,
Darcy